Uni (2020 edition)= Online grind + pandemic monster + what is going on?

An equation to kick this post off seemed very fitting, just thought I’d throw in some online Maths and Stats degree skills, before I let the cat out of the bag and confess; it’s been a very long time since I’ve processed these many words and sentences that aren’t code, so bear with me if I’m a little rusty when it comes to the sass and spice I always write with. I really haven’t had time for anything but Linear Algebra and Complex numbers these past few months. My first Semester has just consisted of work, work and yet, more work. Of course, there have been steals of fun here and there, with booze lightly sprinkled on my occasionally ‘free’ Fridays, but mostly I’ve been questioning, who in their right mind told me Uni is ‘less stressful than sixth form’?! I want to find all those people and tell them Semester one has FINALLY finished and god, I cannot express how eternally grateful I am. There is simply too much to do, like TOO MUCH and I feel your pain if you’ve started off your degree with grainy images of your lecturers on a screen. So, congrats to anyone who has been able to just keep their mental health in check this year, especially if in the middle of an uninvited pandemic, shameless corona knocked on your door and barged its way in.

Tested positive and thankfully, survived. That’s all there was to it very frankly; I’m not wanting to repine about the way the government is handling this whole situation or the way the media has blown everything out of proportion, because if I get into all that I’ll be typing in fury for a few days and I don’t think it’ll soften the pain of those who lost loved ones. Truthfully, whatever is going on right now, isn’t being handled with dexterity and the only thing you can do is panic less if you do test positive (though I sincerely hope you don’t). Stock up on all the healthy foods you run away from and just trust that your smell and taste WILL come back. I absolutely freaked out and frantically googled ‘when will my taste come back if I have Corona’! Don’t let google know your queries – it responds like a crazy psychic just casually letting you know you’re about to die, with the most dreadful articles will staring at you whilst you somehow absorb the fact that you currently, actually, truly have been captured by the pandemic monster.

The first few days of isolation were spent moping around not being able to taste chocolate. I mean, what is the point of life if you can’t relish your favourite dishes and snacks? As if the fever, perseverate coughing and my melancholy over my newly made redundant taste buds were not enough, my mum decided I was going to drink a gallon of turmeric milk everyday. She forced me to try all these peculiar home remedies over Facetime and I tried my best to not reveal any signs of exasperation, because an Asian mother is not someone you want to mess with when her kids fall ill. Oddly, her drama queen behaviour made me miss her more, but she can never know about that, because it will be like giving her free passes to send me more ‘iron boost’ recipes.

Admittedly, I did think my iron levels had taken a hit, which is why I bought plenty of Pomegranate juice in my weekly grocery shops. Actually, juice turns out to be one of the only things a girl can get and finish that same week. Every product is designed in packs of four or in quantities so substantial, you will have to freeze it or throw it away, because it is designed for families. Can’t a girl just cook for herself? Despite my routine vexation over Morrison’s inapt goods, going shopping is for my delectation and classed as a day out…2020 edition remember?

That’s the thing about life, you can find plenty of reasons to be glad, if you want to that is. Emotions can be intractable, which is why it is easier to say than to implement, because I can’t lie and say I haven’t had moments where I’ve felt pretty low and wondered what I’m even doing with my life, but I don’t want to lose hope. 2020 cancelled clubbing, Freshers’ and all the other riveting things I’d heard about Uni my whole life. Nevertheless, I still have people around me who feel the same way. Before lockdown, when our wild nights ended at 10pm, the streets had a sense of rambunctiousness in the air and I loved that, regardless of the fact that I used to be in bed by 11pm and not in some hilarious mess I could tell everyone about in a few years, because I never got to make those memories in the first place! So, I guess we’re constantly trying to find purpose, in attempts to piece together a discombobulated year; it’s like trying to fix a broken glass with glue.

There is no use fixing glass, it’ll end up cutting you and glue, well super glue usually can fix everything, but can it really fix shattered glass? All I know is, I left out the yet when I mentioned marking those ‘old is gold’ moments, nights or whatever it may be, because I’m not letting this be my first and last impression of Uni. Let this be 2020 edition be as bittersweet as it needs to be, even if it is perhaps, a little more bitter and a little less sweet.